mscleanslate

The interview on Friday apparently did not go as well as I had thought. They offered the job to someone else.  I will admit that I spent the weekend thinking about what I was going to wear and planning my route to work with the full assumption that this was going to be the job.  And…well… NO.

That is the third job that I felt I was very well suited for that has rejected me.  The folks at unemployment are telling me, at this point, to set my sights a tich lower.  And I have to disagree with that line of reasoning because taking a job I don’t want at a pay rate that doesn’t pay the bills is a disservice to both myself and the  employer.  Yes, yes, I know… we are dealing with the government here and logic is not in play.  But still… I just really fail to see how this line of thinking is beneficial to anyone involved.

So, at the moment I am more than a little disheartened and dejected.  I am managing to carry on, but I honestly have no enthusiasm.  I revamped my resume… again.  So, we shall see if the new bait ends up hooking us a juicy offer.

It must be bedtime. I’m making fishing analogies.  Goodnight all!

I had an interview today and I had hoped that today would be the day that I would finally rejoin the world of the Gainfully Employed. Alas, it seems that I will not have any answers until next week which means that yet another weekend will be filled with applying for jobs.

I know there are tens of thousands of people who are out of work for months and even years and that I have very little that I can/should complain about. But that doesn’t stave off the feelings of panic and dread that I have, especially since I was penalized for having gotten a week of severance and for some reason they are making me wait two weeks instead of the standard one week waiting period for my unemployment benefits to kick in, but I’ve been reporting to them since the day I was laid off and am in a position where if I am offered ANY job, I MUST take it or I will lose my benefits so I have to be extremely careful what jobs I am applying for.

I did feel that the interview today went well. I was a little disappointed that the next applicant showed up nearly 15 minutes early which distracted the person conducting the interview and really caused me to not be able to wrap things up the way I would have liked to wrap things up. The final couple minutes were very awkward and I vowed to never encroach on another applicant’s time because it is really pretty unfair and honestly pretty rude.  Don’t get me wrong. I am all for being punctual. I even showed up at the site over a half hour early, but I didn’t actually go to the office I was interviewing at until 5 minutes before my scheduled appointment and I was only that early because the agency rep stated in the email that 5 minutes early was their expectation and I wanted to show that I could follow directions.

I did send a thank-you letter, both by email and by regular USPS mail.  I am hoping that my thoroughness and attention to detail will help me get hired (the agency representative seemed to think it should).

So,  this will be another tense, unsatisfying weekend. Unfortunately. Hope you are all faring well.

Ok, I have to admit that there is something going on that I don’t understand.  I’ve now been on TWO interviews that were set up through agencies where I was told by the interviewer that I should DEFINITELY hear something by a specific day/time and not only do I NOT hear by that day/time but I can no longer get through by any means to the agency.  I call, the call goes to voicemail and I get no call back. I email and get no response.

Have things really gotten to the point where you are no longer worthy of common courtesy if you fail to be chosen for a job?  Is it really so hard to tell someone “I’m sorry, they went with another candidate”?  Are things really to the point where people are so afraid of delivering bad news that they just disappear rather than taking 5 seconds to send an email?  I mean, you can have a pre-written email that says “we don’t like you, please never again darken our doorstep” and then just send it out to the rejected candidates.

I don’t understand why common courtesy is no longer common…

I didn’t quite finish the big project I started working on Friday, but I have made progress.

I went for the interview today and it did not go well.  Did you ever go to an interview where no matter how you answer the question, your answer will be wrong?  Questions like “So, have you stopped torturing kittens yet?”  Where, even if you’ve never in your life laid a hand on a kitten in anger, no matter how you answer you’re going to end up looking like a sociopath.  Well, that’s what this was like except for they were job related questions…. So, I guess they were more along the lines of “So, have you stopped robbing the company yet?”  Where, even if you’ve never so much as pilfered a pen, there is no answer that will put you in a favorable light.  Such was my interview today.

I guess I can take some consolation in the fact that I looked ok.  I had a nice outfit and my hair was actually fairly cooperative.

So, now I am back to looking for jobs since this interview was really the last thing I had “on deck”.  I am trying to not feel too down about it and I am trying to stop myself from replaying it all in my head and picking apart every question and every answer.

Onwards to something bigger and better, right?

Well, I’ve crossed the 30-day threshold and there are really no strong prospects in sight.  Everything that is on deck has a pretty heavy element of doubt…

I was never able to get any sort of response from the agency that sent me on the interview last Thursday.  I’ve called and I’ve e-mailed and have been met with resounding silence.  I’m honestly not really sure what to make of it.

I’m not expecting to hear anything in what remains of this week so I am, again, getting ready to start from Square One again on Monday.  Well, that’s not QUITE true.  Earlier this week I was contacted about a position that I hadn’t heard anything about for over 2 weeks.  I had a phone interview and they wanted someone to start on Monday. And then everything changed and they will be spending the next couple of weeks doing face-to-face interviews.  Of course, it’s a job where the commute is an hour, one way.  And I am relatively ok with that but it is not optimal.  Still, it would be a good job.  So, we’ll see if it ends up working out.

I fired off more applications today, so in 2-3 weeks should start hearing about those. (That seems to be the standard delay time).

I’ve got a big project I want to get done tomorrow.  And I have some other things that are overdue, so that will probably keep me busy for the weekend (along with the usual weekend tasks).  Guess I’d better get some sleep!

I had an interview yesterday and the interviewer had said he expected to make a decision by the end of the day and I should hear something early today.  Well, it’s almost the close of the business day and not a peep.  I was pretty sure I was going to get an offer so I am pretty humbled that I’m not going to be offered the opportunity.

The job I really want hasn’t contacted me, either and it’s already been a month going through their process, so I am not really holding out much hope of things moving along (and me getting back to work) too quickly.

There were a couple of prospects that were “hot” a week/week and a half ago that just totally went cold/dead.  I’d be lying if I said I was taking it well.  I am starting to panic. Because if I don’t get something soon, I am going to have to start looking at taking jobs that don’t pay as well and will need to get a second job in order to pay the bills.

I am trying to maintain confidence and a positive attitude, but really feel like I have gotten a hard reality slap this week and am feeling very rejected and humbled and my spirit is breaking.

I will start anew on Monday.  I’m going to try to not think too much about it this weekend.  But I am pretty heartbroken right now.

I hope you all have a fabulous weekend!

I had an interview today for a job that I really, really want.  I interviewed with two people. The first just wasn’t impressed by anything I said and I kept getting the feeling that he was waiting for me to apologize for/explain the fact that I’ve had a number of short-term jobs and I just didn’t address the issue at all because of the jobs on my resume, there is one that I left after having three bosses in less than a year and I was going to get my hours cut and all of the best parts of the job taken away and one where they decided they wanted someone bilingual in a language I did not know how to speak.  They decided after hiring (and letting go) 6 people in an 18 month span that this skill was absolutely essential.  All the rest of my jobs, I’ve been downsized or they have been contract positions with a set end (ok, so one of them, the person I worked for retired) but the point is, I am NOT someone who quits or job-hops.  I have the Resume of Career Catastrophes… a series of events which I did not create or control.

The second person I interviewed with, I really “clicked” with and I would pretty much sell my soul to work with.  There are very few people I meet that I feel a fairly instantaneous connection with, but this was one of those times.

And so, I have written my thank-you letters and now I wait.

In the meantime, I got a call about a contract job and they want me to interview tomorrow (which messes up my plans for the afternoon… I have a standing appointment on Thursdays) but the person who had called me could not even give me an address.  So, hopefully tomorrow morning I will get an address and can figure out the best way to accomplish getting to the interview, rushing home to change and then get to my appointment (because interview clothes are absolutely not appropriate for the appointment).

Wish me luck on getting the job I interviewed for today.

It was not the most productive weekend, therefore, I am putting in a little “overtime” tonight in an effort to get things done.  The nice part about being up late is that it is quiet and there is less of a chance of being interrupted in the middle of whatever you choose to work on.  The down side, of course, is that noise must be kept to a minimum because the rest of the world is sleeping. 

I was contacted about a job last week that was the 3PM-11PM shift.  Second shift is a tough one because you completely lose touch with the rest of the world  You are working when people are home and relaxing and you are sleeping through a majority of normal business hours.  It makes it challenging to have any sort of life outside of work (not that I have a really busy life outside of work, but 2nd shift would essentially rob me of having ANY real social life possibilities).  The pay for the position was well below what it is really viable for me to take, so I decided to pass on the opportunity.

Still… there is something to be said for peace and quiet (another reason that 2nd shift would be hard… apparently no one else where I live works for a living and it is NOISY here during the day, even when the kids are supposed to be in school).

I’ve got an interview lined up for this week.  I am trying to not get TOO excited but it is a job that I think I’d really like.  And maybe I will hear about the other opportunity that is allegedly “moving forward”.  (There’s a third possibility, but honestly, it’s not very attractive so if it stalls out, I’m fine with that).

Hope everyone has a fantastic week!

Honestly, you probably don’t want to read this. But I need to write it to get it out of my head.

Every day I feel worse.  Not like I’m coming down with a cold or something like that. I feel worse about myself on an emotional level. I feel less and less valuable every day. I keep waiting for things, bad things, to happen because I just can’t see how they AREN’T going to happen.  Pretty much every day I burst into tears at some point.

I don’t have friends I can talk to about it and I wouldn’t want to burden anyone with it if I did have friends to talk to about it. I feel like Cinderella, knowing that there is a magnificent ball happening at the palace and knowing that I am not invited.  But I don’t have helpful mice or a pumpkin coach and I sure as heck don’t have a fairy godmother and even typing about this now, my chest is tightening and I feel vaguely nauseous and overwhelmingly sad.  I want to be invited to the Ball. To at least be able to stand at a window of the palace and see the finery within. But I’m not invited & know I am unwelcome.

I’ve never been part of the “in crowd”.  The last few years I haven’t owned a TV and so when office talk would turn to the latest episode of American Idol I had nothing to add to the conversation. It was very isolating (even though, frankly, I have ZERO interest in American Idol).

I remember that the last time I felt like this was March 2010. There seemed to be only one way to make things any better.  If I get the news I am expecting, I know what the best option will be.  I suppose that, once upon a time in my youth I was resilient.  Not so much anymore.  Small things cut much more deeply than they should and the comforting words that were present when I was younger are fewer and farther between these days. It has become more difficult for me to believe everything will be ok.

Off now to do some research… Errands to run tomorrow, want to make sure I get everything I need. Won’t be time to do extra running around on the weekend and the clock is ticking!

So, my little unemployed clock ticks on….

I have sent Company X about a dozen resumes since I moved to my current location. I’ve never gotten a call from them… until today.  And they called me about a job that would, quite frankly, bore me to death.  AND would be a step back in pay.  Every time I manage to make a wage I can live with, I lose the job and then end up having no choice but to take a job that pays less and then I inch my way back up to a good wage, the company goes bankrupt/downsizes/decides to cut all persons with my job title and I take a step back again. (No, I am not quitting or being fired for doing something wrong)

In the past decade, my earnings have spanned a range of $15,000. (Low being $… high being $+15,000).  And it has not been consistent… it’s been low paying job, high paying job, low paying job, high paying job, low paying job, high paying job so when someone demands your salary history, they have no real way of pinpointing your actual value.  What they are used to seeing is that say, in 2000 you made $10 an hour. You worked for that company for 3 years and left when you were making $13 an hour.  Then you got a job that paid $13.50 an hour, where you worked for 5 years and when you left that job it was for a job paying $20 an hour and so on.

In my case (this is an example, not at all my real earnings) it’s been more like  in 2000 I was making $10 an hour. I got laid off, took a job making $9.50 an hour (and worked a second, sometimes a third job). Worked there for almost 2 years then that company went out of business and I got a job making $15 an hour…got downsized after 6 months and took a job that paid $11.50 an hour, that was a contract position that lasted 8 months and then the contract ended and I got a job making $20, which lasted for 6 months before I got downsized and because of circumstances took a job for $12 an hour… and had a second job.  The point being there has been no steady progression but I have a threshold of “this is what I NEED to make in order to not have to work two (or more) jobs”.  I live in a very inexpensive apartment in a not so good part of town.  I ended up shouldering all of the marital debt in my divorce, so I have to keep making payments or my credit gets trashed and nearly every employer these days runs a credit check so defaulting is NOT AN OPTION.  The internet is pretty much my one luxury.  The rest of my money pays the bills and keeps a roof over my head. I haven’t got a dime saved for retirement.  I (thankfully) do not have student loans (of course, I am being hurt by not having a degree, but the crippling debt I would have had to shoulder would be worse than trying to convince employers that real world experience is just as valuable as being able to quote something you learned in a textbook).

And so, the clock ticks on… And only time will tell what happens next…