mscleanslate

Dear Folks I Currently Work For,

Listen, I just want you to know that I know that you’re not planning on offering me a position. I want you to know I know because then maybe you can stop pussyfooting around when you’re near me in the office.

Feel free to speak freely about my replacement. I would prefer that to the whispering that happens now.

Today, when someone asked if his support team was “set in stone” and you practically screamed “NO! Oh no! No, no… not set in stone” did you think I wasn’t going to notice that?

If it’ll make you feel better, I’ll just nod my head to any plausible lie you want to tell me to make me feel better about the situation. But, DO NOT, at the end of the 6 months of my contract, try to feed me some bullshit about how I just didn’t work hard enough.

I’ve known from Week 3, when you told me that I was on borrowed time, that this was not going to be something permanent. I thank you for the afterthought courtesy interview.

But please, people, can we cut the crap? It’ll make the whole experience better for everyone.

Thanks,
MsCleanslate

Soooo… Monday at work I was introduced as the temp who was around til the tranferring employee and 2 people they’d made offers to came onboard…

Imagine my surprise today when I found out that there’s a hiring freeze and that they can’t even bring the people they’d made offers to onboard. Which means… they’re stuck with me…

Which would be interesting enough. But… there is now the fact that tomorrow evening, I have a phone interview for a different job with a different company for a job that is really so much more “me”. Or at least would be more in line with the skills I prefer using.

And I can only imagine how upset they’ll be where I am temping now (and they never miss an opportunity to remind me that I am JustATemp) if I get this other job and tell them that I’m leaving.

But, they never made me an offer… all they did was make some lame promise to think about maybe extending my contract or MAYBE offering me a job. So, I’m a little “If-you-liked-it-shoulda-offered-me-a-paycheck” (think Beyonce’s “Single Ladies”)

Will be interesting to see if anything comes of this latest recruiter contact… Wish me luck!

I did get an “interview” for the job I am currently doing (in hopes of getting hired as a “regular” employee, since there are three openings). As I suspected, they are not going to buy out my contract but did say they may extend my contract or consider possibly hiring me. So… there are three open positions, they will be hiring 2 people and I am, I guess, a placeholder who MAY get hired or may be a perpetual contractor. ::SIGH::

At this point, I am not holding my breath. Whatever happens will happen.

They did, however, have me move over to the area the rest of the team works in (since there is now an open cubicle)

That’s all I know at this point. (That they like me enough to evaluate me for an unspecified amount of time to determine if they might, possibly, at some unspecified future time hire me… )

I’m going to make a prediction, though…

Right now, I am the only person with my title. There used to be FOUR of us with this title. It’ll be 2-3 weeks before the other people start. I am not fully trained on everything that the job entails. Two of the three people who left the position are gone. As in, physically not even in the building anymore. The other is working in her new capacity.

That means, if collections don’t meet goal, if billing isn’t done, if anything that is part of this position isn’t done in the month of July, *I* and I alone will be to blame. Management will hold ME responsible.

So, for AT LEAST the next month, I will be doing the work of 4 people. I am not accruing any vacation, I am not accruing any sick time, I am working with NO BENEFITS WHATSOEVER, including having ABSOLUTELY ZERO paid time off. When, in 90 days, Management reviews my performance, do you want to take any bets as to whether the fact that the work of 4 people was dumped on one person who was largely untrained will be taken into account? I am going to state for the record that unless I put in a helluva lot of unpaid overtime (which will then set the bar so that I can never stop doing that), I have no hope of succeeding and keeping this job.

Is it, then, any wonder that I am still responding to people who contact me about job openings? It isn’t as if I am actively seeking a job and following up on leads and sending out my resume, I am simply responding to inquiries I get. And I KNOW that they’d be mad at me if they knew I was doing this, but they’re getting all of the benefit out of this and I am getting…. ummm… evaluated for an unspecified amount of time to determine if they might, possibly, at some unspecified future time hire me…or just terminate my contract after having worked me like a dog for three months.

I know what I suspect the outcome will be. We shall see how things play out.

I met with The Borg today. I was GRILLED for an hour. Why, when it CLEARLY STATES on my resume that I have been working contract positions does everyone ask me why I can’t hold a job for more than a few months? Listen people, I had two contracts EXTENDED. I was rehired by one agency for a second contract position. But because I haven’t had a job for 3-5 years with one company (due to contract work, downsizing, companies going out of business, management decisions to cut a position to part-time when I need full-time work…) I’m somehow not worthy of a good opportunity (which is, itself, a short-term contract… so why the concern about whether I’m in it for the long haul)?

My heart wants to believe I got the job. My gut says there’s no f**king way I got the job. But then I go back to “why would you spend an hour with someone you aren’t going to hire”? Because I have had the 8-12 minute interview when the moment the interviewer saw me s/he knew that there was no job offer forthcoming but it’s rude (I guess) to say “there’s no point to conducting the interview, I’ve decided that since you are not built like/don’t look like Malibu Barbie I am completely uninterested…” But they do a cursory interview as if I am going to walk into their office, drop to my knees and give them a hummer that will convince them that I have the necessary “skills” to perform the job satisfactorily. ::SIGH::

And so… now… I wait.

Tuesday, I was contacted by an agency who has a job available working for the Borg. I’ve done contract work for the Borg before and this job is a piece o’ cake comparatively. Plus, it’s NOT working with the lovely (term used sarcastically) group of folks I work with at the moment. So, of course, I jumped on the opportunity.

Wednesday, I went and met with the agency rep. I am cautiously optimistic after the meeting. I could do the job without a problem. Now I just have to get in to meet with the Borg to convince them that I could do the job.

I am nervous. I am anxious. I could actually make a good living again.

So…now I wait. Again.

I’m not a difficult person to get along with. Yes, I am rather quiet and I understand that people find me aloof sometimes (not true, btw, I am just quiet because I don’t know you and am unsure of myself). I’ve tried very hard to have a good attitude about the place I am working now, in spite of having been called on the carpet about my “rudeness“, I’ve really endeavored to be positive in the workplace.

But today… Today my co-workers ONCE AGAIN all went off to lunch together. Without a word to me. One gal stayed behind but it was her CHOICE and she had been cajoled and almost BEGGED to join them. Not ONE WORD was said to me. Not “we’re going to lunch and we need you to stay and answer the phone”, not “we’re going to lunch”, NOTHING. And, yes, I HEARD them all planning to go to lunch but it bothers me that I don’t even matter enough to be given the COURTESY of being asked if maybe *I* had lunch plans.

And then the icing on the cake. The gal who is my supervisor called for the gal who had stayed behind. At that point there were TWO people at her desk talking to her, which I relayed. “Well, tell her it’s an EMERGENCY” and I did and she said to tell SupervisorLady that she was BUSY and would have to call her back. SupervisorLady then called the direct line and cell phone of the gal that had stayed behind REPEATEDLY. As if she didn’t believe that I had relayed the message. (I know who was incessantly calling because the gal that stayed behind bitched about it). She finally called SupervisorLady back and all SupervisorLady wanted was to know if she could bring something back for the gal that stayed behind.

HOW FUCKING UNBELIEVEABLY RUDE!! To speak to me and not even ASK if you could bring ME something but to call and call and call someone who didn’t even want to go in the first place and who didn’t want anything (not that I did, but that isn’t the POINT) and not even have the COMMON COURTESY to extend an offer to me. Wow. And it’s not even that I wanted or expected someone to buy me lunch, it’s that it wasn’t even offered to me and was strenuously offered to someone who sits FIVE FEET AWAY FROM ME.

The group at work go out to lunch together ALL THE TIME. They are all “Facebook Friends”. And I understand that you “bond” when you’ve worked together for years and years, but… to blatantly exclude someone, as they have done with me… how is that excusable? (And then to threaten my job because I am not “a team player”).

And yes, when I go out to lunch (ALONE), I offer to pick things up to bring back for people. Every time I’ve invited someone to lunch, I’ve been turned down.

I’ve bent over backwards to fit in. I’ve done favors. I’ve gone in early and stayed late and done all of the shit work that no one else wants to do without a single complaint. And it doesn’t matter.

And so, I have to say to yet another supervisor (at least here on my blog), “I am SO glad I don’t have to get up in the morning and be you.” Because I can’t treat someone like something nasty I stepped in even if they have given me a REASON to be less than nice to them (and I have HONESTLY done NOTHING wrong to any of the people I work with… nor am I rude, inappropriate or someone who has poor hygiene). In fact, they all went out today with the salesguy who has had HR in an uproar for his completely inappropriate behavior in the workplace (a rather “rough/crude” sense of humor). So, I really, REALLY don’t understand what I’ve done that is so wrong that I don’t rate even the barest of common courtesy.

I know I am a grown-up and I shouldn’t let things like things like this bother me and maybe it’s the fact that my co-workers (with the exception of the gal that stayed behind today and Mr. Inappropriate, the salesguy) are 5-18 years younger than I am and maybe there’s some weird age-related “thing” going on (in addition to the fact that I’m “not from around here”).

And so… the fact that I applied for a new job today (an agency called me) doesn’t bother my conscience at all. The sooner I can let all of this be a bitter memory, the better.

THANK GOD IT’S FRIDAY!!

So, check out the new button in my sidebar for the kick butt “Over 40 Bloggers” group (meaning that their chronological age is over 40, not just that there are over 40 bloggers involved in the group….)

I’ve got to get to bed before I end up face-down in the keyboard. Again.