mscleanslate

In 1992 I was told by an efficiency expert brought in to the place I was working that I was in the wrong field and needed to get out immediately. I was five years into the career that I remain in to this day. I was told that I was absolutely lousy at what I was doing and that I could never hope to be a success at it. I had (and still have) no other skills.

Most of the time, I have felt that this person was wrong and that I AM good at what I do. Or, at least, I am not a dismal failure at it.

But there are days, like today, when I look at it all and wonder if maybe she was right. That maybe I do completely suck at what I do even though I’ve been doing it for a long time now.

I have no idea what else I could have done or what I could do now that’s different.

Maybe she was right. Maybe I should have listened. Maybe I’m just fooling myself into thinking I am capable. Maybe after a good nights sleep it will look better in the morning.

I’ve been neglectful, but it isn’t willfully, my friends. A check of the ticker in my sidebar will show you that I am still not working, so I haven’t been distracted by a new job.

No, I’ve been distracted by dealing with the job hunt. Whilst I am being asked to take tests to measure my integrity, I am dealing with people who I honestly believe have no clue what that word means.

Potential Employers… you aren’t doing ANYONE favors when you tell people you’ll “call them either way” and then never contact them. Believe me, I will remember every single business that did this to me and I will never do business with them AND I will tell whomever my employer is to never do business with them. Sure, that’s a pittance in relation to your HUGE customer base, but it would have taken a 15-second email to keep my wrath at bay. It is shady ethically and it is JUST PLAIN RUDE.

To the lady at the agency who knew the second she saw me that she wasn’t going to hire me but spent almost an hour with me anyways (and then never made any contact…I’m forgiving you for this because you could have told me “we filled the position” and shooed me out the door and you didn’t), I know that you could have (and likely your boss thinks that you SHOULD have) done things differently and I thank you for your time and consideration most sincerely.

I’m trying to keep my spirits up, but I know once we hit November, hiring will enter a freeze period. I am feeling the crunch, I am being less selective in what I apply for even knowing I will likely regret the compromise in the long run. “Bird in the hand…….” and all that.

It’s funny… I’ve been to a dozen agencies now… maybe more. They’ve run the gamut from the debutante cotillion type of atmosphere (“we just simply are not sure that you have the proper pedigree to work here…”) to the trailer park atmosphere (don’t blink, we’ll be packin’ up and movin’ on any day now…) Or maybe a better analogy is that I have been to both the Nordstroms and the Walmart of agencies. The thing they all have in common? None of them have any work for me.

So, that’s where things are with me right now. Be Well.

Since my job ended, I’ve found myself growing more and more depressed. Every rejection seems to hit a little harder, cut a little deeper. Every lead that just stops responding bothers me a little bit more. You’d think it would be the opposite, that I’d be getting used to the rejection but that’s not what’s been happening.

I’ve seldom left my home office except to sleep or use the powder room since Monday. And tonight it hit me that maybe that’s part of the problem. The office is no longer a place of work, it’s where I live.

And it needs to stop.

Experts tell you that if you have trouble sleeping that you should only use your bedroom for sleeping (and, well, other things that are legitimately bedroom activities… *ahem*) that way your brain gets trained to associate the bedroom with being a place you sleep. I would conjecture that the same lesson can (and should) apply to other areas of the home. I mean, certainly, there are rooms in the house that are meant to be multi-functional. And there are times when space constraints make it impossible to separate activities into specific rooms. (Ahh, how lovely it would be to have the money to have a house with a library and an office and a media room and a workout room…). But I think I’m losing my focus by living in the office.

So, I’ve cleaned off my desk and am going to try to turn over a new leaf. And try to actually be AWAY from the office a little more. I know it sounds counterintuitive to say that maybe I’ll get more work done if I am in the office less, but I think that it will actually work out that way.

So, the job that was moving glacially slow in hiring… has come to a full and complete STOP. I have heard the sum total of NOTHING since LAST Thursday. I think it’s probably safe to say that I won’t ever hear another peep about it. And that is something that I, as a professional person, just don’t understand. How can you work with someone for three weeks and then, with no warning, just never contact them again? You know, if I had done something and had been escorted from the building in handcuffs or something, that’s one thing. But nothing like that happened. I went and met with some people, people who I was told were not part of the hiring decision, and then… NOTHING.

There weren’t awkward moments. There were no questions I couldn’t answer. I am at a complete and total loss to explain how/why everything just STOPPED.

It’s terribly hard to learn from an experience when you are given no feedback and when you cannot fathom what it is that you said or did that was so horrific that you just never hear from them again.

Oh well, guess I just gotta get on to whatever the next thing is, right?

So, the job that is moving glacially slow in hiring went to the next step this morning and I got to actually meet with real, live people and not just people on a phone.

There are… inconsistencies. I was told that this was a newly created position. When I was being introduced to everyone I was introduced as “A candidate for X’s old job”. Twice someone mentioned “…but I thought we’d hired someone for that position…” when I have been told that I am the sole candidate for the position.

There are some VERY worrisome aspects. The people in the office I’d be working in have no idea what the corporate office people are hiring someone to do. It was mentioned that they have no idea who would be training me or who would even have the TIME to train me. There was a brief mention of shipping me off to corporate “but I’m not sure how that would work, I mean, the company won’t pay for it since you’re just a contractor…” so now I am worrying about how I would afford a trip to a locale 1500 miles away.

And then there was the whole bit about what a nightmare it is to actually get hired on to the company I’d be a contractor for until they decide to hire me (IF they decide to actually hire me). And being told that you have to completely start over with the hiring process, re-apply for the job, be interviewed, go through all of the background checking and everything ALL OVER AGAIN.

I can’t shake the bad feeling I have about this. So… it either happens or it doesn’t. If it does, I hope they get their shit together. If it doesn’t… then it doesn’t. Back to the job boards…

I’ve been working with an agency on a job that is moving painfully slow. I just got the most aggressive, assholish email from the agency contact and you know what? Screw it. I’ll find a job on my own. I don’t need someone being an assclown because I have asked for clarification and they can’t be bothered.

Enjoy the fact that you have a job, Mister Man.

I’ll take back control of my destiny, thanks.

Dear Hiring Manager,

I have just completed my third interview for a job with your company. The job is a data entry clerk position. It does not involve payroll. It does not involve information that affects National Security. The position does not require me to perform complex neurosurgery. It requires me to sit at a desk 8 hours a day and enter data into forms on a computer. Data that no one but your company cares about.

Telling me that you will probably schedule a FOURTH interview (with one more interview phase and two background check phases) is not filling me with joy or confidence. Nor is it making me think the job is uber important. It is making me think that you are yanking my chain and dragging your feet hoping that the heavens will open and your perfect candidate will fall from the sky into your lap. Because right now, I am your sole candidate and you’ve already dragged this process out long enough that the two other candidates for the position found other jobs (which they took) and so now you are left with me.

And honestly, if I’m not what you want because you want someone with a college degree to sit at a computer all day and enter information into forms, then just tell me that so that I can move on and not waste any more of your time or any more of my time.

I was born at night, yes. Not LAST night, though.

No Love,
(and surprisingly little patience)
MsCleanslate

Although it has been over a month since I was last employed, I still thought I should write a post on Labor Day. After all, looking for work is a job in and of itself, right? If you answer that in the negative, I conjecture that you’ve never really had to launch a full-scale job hunt.

That being said, I am not actually working on job search things today because there is enough other stuff that I have neglected that I need to get some things done. First up will be cleaning up the mess that is within the line of sight from my desk! Truly horrifying.

Also, the office needs cleaning (again) and I believe that *I* could use a good scrubbing. Also, need to get the laundry put away. See, all of these little details! It’s a wonder I have time to get anything done, really.

I have some filing that desperately needs to get done, too. Which means I need to find file folders and get them labeled. Also… I have some three ring binders that I need to work on getting put together as I would like them to be functional.

I picked up some Fast Flats (Dr. Scholls) over the weekend. I am not someone who wears heels but there are just some times when I do wear shoes that get very uncomfortable and I thought that these were a cool idea. I will probably keep them in the car. I was looking for a link for these when I found FootzyRolls. Once I am working again, I will likely look into getting a pair of the FootzyRolls for comparison.

I should probably get to work on the things I need to get done today. I haven’t gotten the kitty litter in from the car yet, so I guess I get to put THAT task off for another day. (I am trying to ignore the cat glaring at me as I type that!)

And, for the record, neither Dr. Scholls nor FootzyRolls provided me with either product or monetary compensation for mentioning their products here. Though should either company feel compelled, I would love to work with them.

Last Friday, I had a phone interview. It went well. A second phone interview needed to be done. It was scheduled for this morning (Thursday). Guess what DIDN’T happen? Yeah, the person who was scheduled to be in the call forgot/blew it off. It isn’t even Friday. Nice. So now, because someone was too damn important/busy/forgetful to show up for a PHONE CALL, I have to wait until TUESDAY to try again. There are THREE STEPS to the process after that, each taking a week to 3 weeks to process. With any luck, I may have a job offer by the end of the year!

In unrelated news, I had an entrecard ad placement turned down. Ummmm, excuse me? I sortve have to laugh that someone with the word “bitch” in their blog title apparently thinks MsCleanslate here is too offensive.

In any case, getting back to the first part of the post, it bothers me that I spent an hour waiting for someone to come and interview me this morning and now they can’t even be bothered to reschedule until next week (so, no consideration AT ALL for the fact that I might, you know, have BILLS TO PAY).

In any case… way too much damn drama in my life lately for my taste. And nowhere near enough sleep. Back to the job boards for me.