So, in my first weekly meeting with the boss since the meeting where he had his panties all in a wad about the freakin’ picnic, I was informed that due to concern about the flu, I will be responsible for sanitizing all workstations every week.
That’s right, kids, I get to go around and clean off everyone’s phone, mouse and keyboard plus wipe off all “shared” surfaces (breakroom I do everyday anyhow) like doorknobs and the like.
Now, don’t get me wrong, I understand that the flu is serious business and we don’t want people getting sick and then coming to the office so we all get sick, etc. But this is an office of grown, college-educated people. Are you SERIOUSLY telling me they can’t go to the breakroom, grab an a cleaning wipe and wipe their own mouse, keyboard and phone? Oh, right, these are the same people who cannot wash their own coffee cups or put a soda into the mini fridge after they’ve taken one out to drink (except whomever drinks the Maximum Overload Cola who decides that THE WHOLE DAMN FRIDGE needs to be filled with his/her soda).
And I am guessing that the theory is that having me touch all of the equipment that is allegedly all germy won’t make me sick because skullery maids have some sort of super immune system. I’m of the mind to get some Thieve’s Oil and whip that shit on them… I know from personal experience that Thieve’s Oil is da bomb for all things that antiscepticizing. I mean, it’s based on a formula that thieves used to use back in the days of the freakin’ Black Plague. They’d rub themselves down with this stuff to rob the bodies of the dead and somehow manage, through the antiseptic properties of this oil concoction, to not contract the plague themselves. So, hey, Swine Flu… BRING IT!
Have I mentioned I won’t be sad to move on from this job?