The Trouble with Travel

It’s been quite a while since I’ve been involved in arranging travel as a part of my job. Back in “the old days” you called up a travel agent and they gave you the fare that made them the biggest commission lowest possible fare, you booked it and were done.

Oh, those were the days. Now, in addition to the airlines having websites and the hotels having websites and the rental car companies having websites there are all the sites like Orbitz and Expedia and Travelocity and Pleasescrewmetheleast.com and the information any given site gives you on any given day about any given itinerary could change if you don’t book right NOW! No, you don’t have time to ask the traveler… book NOW! Ooops, too late, now your fare goes up $50! BWAHAHAHAHAHAA!

And then I have the joy of trying to coordinate travelers and Traveler A can’t POSSIBLY get up for an 8:30AM flight and Traveler B has to have a Vegetarian Kosher No Nut Product Within a 500 Square Mile Radius Meal and Traveler C cannot sleep if there is any noise but won’t invest in a 50 cent pair of earplugs and don’t you DARE book Traveler D in one of those hotels where the beds are as hard as a rock! As if I have been to each local hotel to test their beds! Next thing you know they’ll want me to do a personal inspection with a blacklight to “see how many fluids have been liberated” in their rooms! No, I cannot tell you if a particular hotel has “the naughty channels” nor can I tell you the cost per adult movie at each of the fine hotel establishments in this town. I can sheepishly confess to having stayed in the cracktacular motel that is just down the road (because I didn’t know any better and was broker than a celibate hooker).

I think I need to go wash this day off now… it’s got me feeling a little icky…