Take One For The Team!

Weekly meeting with boss started with the phrase “So… how do you like working here…?” (which, believe me, is never a good sign.. in fact, it usually is a phrase you hear just before you AREN’T working “here” anymore.)

I was correct in my assumption that my boss was not “disappointed” at how the company picnic went… he was PISSED RIGHT THE FUCK OFF!

Now… the morning of the company picnic, I’d woken up @ 4am with a migraine. I was not well. I went out shopping in the crowded, whiny-child-infested hell of a BallzMart, then to the picnic site. The ONE picnic shelter was occupied. Great. I had something like 20 plastic bags full of food, table cloths, etc. plus jumbo paks of plates, cutlery, etc. plus 60 fricken pounds of ice, a cooler and two huge bags of charcoal.

The people using the shelter left….right about the time that people started showing up. One of the Perfect Wives started harping on me right away about why wasn’t everything already set up and how it was so tacky that it was a potluck and blahblahblahblahBLAH.

I was trying to get all the stuff from my truck to the shelter (could anyone be bothered to help?? Nooooooo….) I started setting things up and got an earful about how I hadn’t gotten enough food or enough ice or enough table cloths… blahblahblahblahBLAH.

I’d wanted to be HOME by 3:30, but people didn’t even get to the picnic site til 3:15ish… I left about 4:15.

Wellllll… today I got told that “EVERYONE” had gone out of their way to tell my boss I was nonstop complaining and bitching from the moment that they arrived(untrue) and unorganized (didn’t have everything all set up when people got there) and how AWFUL and UNFORGIVABLE it was that I LEFT (and they had to Cllllleeeeaaaannn uppppp…..). Add to that the complaint that there were no decorations, that things didn’t look nice, couldn’t I have gotten balloons or some small bouquets or something? Oh, and that I share a vehicle with another person and had to go was “not his problem” and I SHOULD HAVE freed up my day “for the team”.

Then he launched into how I had ruined the whole experience for everyone (keep in mind that I was gone pretty early on… so if they didn’t manage to have a good time, that’s my fault HOW?), that his whole “team building” effort that he’d worked a year on and this was supposed to be the crowning glory of was all “at least seriously set back and possibly at a point where we are back at square one” and that the whole team felt extremely negative toward me (really? gee… guess what? I don’t think the negativity towards me came from the friggin’ picnic)

Boss then starts in on how the breakroom isn’t being kept pristine and that the floors should be vacummed every couple days and the conference room isn’t pristine and that I obviously am not “focused on the TEAM” and how my life needs to stop during working hours so I can be “focused on the team” and checking in with them to see what they need and what they want and I need to be totally disassembling, cleaning and reassembling the espresso machine AT LEAST once a week. And that I need to “LISTEN” to what that team wants. That I need to spend time chatting with them. Well, ya wanna know what they all bitched about regarding the FORMER person in my position? “All she did was stand around chatting or go out shopping…”

Now…. this is the “team” that regularly goes to lunch without a word to me. Yet, *I* am the one who “isn’t focused on the team”

I worked for an extra 1.5 hours on a Friday and 4.5 hours on a Saturday for which I will NEVER get paid for this disaster. Not to mention all the time and planning that went into it and I did it all MY FUCKING SELF. Not to mention that the Other Half was pissed that I didn’t just blow it off altogether AND I heard nothing but negativity about it from “the team” before it ever happened and got not even one THANK YOU. No, I just got to hear about how my “constant complaining” ruined it for everyone who attended. (For the record… I said NOT ONE WORD OF THE VERY BITTER COMPLAINTS THAT WERE IN MY HEAD!)

So… basically, they want to pay someone $pittance an hour (NO OVERTIME) to do everything from washing coffeecups and vacuuming to doing Project Management to, apparently, being Dr. Friggin Phil and making sure everyone is happy all the time, to doing all of the supply purchasing and maintain the wiki AND you need to be an event planner (and be able to plan and execute everything ALL BY YOURSELF) and to do this you need to work 50 hours a week but you’re only going to get paid for 40 no matter what… and you have no vacation, sick time, or benefits of any kind. Your co-workers all make in excess of $100K a year and most treat you like something nasty they found on the bottom of their shoe.

Now… out of all of this, you know what stings? That part about not “being focused on the team”… Let’s see… if you recall, I bought both real mayo and miracle whip for the picnic, because I know some people ONLY like REAL mayo and some ONLY like Miracle Whip… I made sure to include hotsauce because I know that some team members like really spicy food/hot sauce… I got not only the hamburgers and hotdogs I was told to get, but I got brats, too and had even thought to ask if anyone needed a veggie option (the closest anyone came was that chicken would be their request, which I accommodated). I’ve done shopping on weekends and do shipping after work because I want to be available during the day in case someone needs something (big complaint about previous person was that she was never in the office). I’ve bought donuts with my own money. When we have visitors and I am sent to fetch lunch, I NEVER put MY lunch on the company card. I bought both regular and baked varieties of chips in case there were calorie counters in the group or those concerned about their fat intake. I buy Truvia for our “lo cal” sweetener because it’s a stevia based sweetener and is better for you than Aspartame. I buy three different types of coffee beans for the espresso maker and blend them so “the team” can have the best espresso experience possible (while keeping an eye on the budget).

And, ya know what? I was, until today, a little sad I’d be leaving this job. Not anymore… I’m countin’ down the days.