I’m trying to be a PROFESSIONAL, people

Last week I went on an interview. I met with Johnny and Molly (not their real names…) Johnny and Molly are both about 15 years younger than I am. I think they were a little… appalled that I am SOOOO OLD. But, age discrimination aside, I have a bit of a problem.

I asked Johnny and Molly for their business cards. Molly gave me a card with just the company name (and an OLD street address) on it and I asked her if she could write their names on the card. And instead of writing John Hatesyu and Margaret Fakecheery she writes on the card Johnny, Molly and Sherry (I met Sherry for 2 seconds on my way out). So, if I want to write a thank you letter (thankfully I remember the REAL address), I have to either a) look like a dumbass and call to get their REAL names or b) look like a dumbass and address a letter to Johnny and another to Molly which is very informal and not at ALL professional.

Now there is probably a snowball’s chance in hell that I will ever even hear from them again since, as I noted, they don’t want me, Ms. Jurassic, working for them. Because who wants an office Mom telling you that your coffeecup is growing a science experiment and you’d better pick up that office RIGHT NOW young man and just WAIT until your CEO gets home…

Nevermind that I have a good 30 more years that I will be in the workforce and if I am, at earlyfortysomething, already being looked at like I should be shuffling off for the home, then there’s an issue. For the record, I do NOT look to be fortysomething. But if you start talking about having 20 years of experience, I guess the young folks start envisioning you running with the wooly mammoths and you can just forget getting a job. I also thought it odd that Molly said that her fiance is asking her to “move on professionally” from the job which I wonder if it means he thinks she’s too old to be “office bitch” or if he’s worried that Johnny is gettin’ some of the goodies on lunch break in the supply room. Or maybe I missed it and Johnny and Molly are dating and the company frowns on that (since the clients are starting to complain about product being tainted by liberated bodily fluids).

So, I guess I’ll write my letters to Johnny and Molly and look like an asshat rather than calling (where Molly will answer the phone) and asking if I can please get REAL names for these folks. It’s obvious to me that these kids could use some help (and I just have to say that Johnny had the most delicate, feminine hands I have EVER seen on a dude… it was a little creepy). I think it’ll be a hoot for them to actually get letters sent to the correct address even though they did their damndest to thwart me!