Runnin’ in the hamster wheel…

This week has been a dizzying array of phone calls and emails and interviews and testing.  I feel like I’ve been in constant “run” mode.

It’s after midnight. I need to be up at 6AM for an early appointment tomorrow (later today, I guess is more accurate) and I just realized that I should write the thank-you letters for today’s interviews but I need to get to bed and I am afraid I would make mistakes that might end up tipping the scales out of my favor. I have some other business at the post office, though, so I am thinking I can do tomorrow morning’s appointment, come home, do the phone interview I have in the early afternoon, write the letters I need to write and prep the other things I need to take to the post office, run out to the post office, come home and MAYBE catch up on some of the things I am behind on (like, oh, the disaster area that is my kitchen), make sure I have myself together for Friday because I am cat sitting this weekend and was thinking that on Friday I will go to do the cat sitting relatively early and leave from the place I do the cat sitting to take care of the plans for the evening (Fridays have become errand night. Which I have no problem with, I just need to get some things done before then).

Don’t get me wrong, I am very grateful for the opportunity to interview for positions and get things moving forward in a positive direction with my career. I just don’t think anyone realizes that there is a whole PROCESS to interviewing, it’s not as simple as get dressed, go interview, come home.

I must plan and put together the right outfit.  I have to shower, do hair and makeup (and I am someone who usually just puts my hair in a ponytail and wears not a bit of makeup, so having to actually do something professional/creative/attractive with my hair and spend the time (which is why I don’t do it on the daily) to do my makeup probably takes me a lot longer than you would imagine).  I have to make sure I’ve researched the company, have directions written down, have copies of everything I need copies of and then it’s out the door to the interview.  I get to the interview spot early most of the time so I have time for “one last check” in the mirror in the restroom then I go and fill out any needed paperwork and do the interview. Afterwards, I have to write a thank-you letter and get it mailed.  Sometimes they send me tests I need to take, sometimes there is a whole online application process to get through but a 1PM appointment can take me from prepping at about 9:30AM to getting the thank-you letter in the mail at 3:30 or 4:00PM.  Then I have emails and calls to return and don’t forget I still need to be applying for jobs (and documenting everything I do for a potential Unemployment Audit).

Meanwhile, I have an apartment to take care of, I have writing to do (because writers WRITE), I have blogs I should be writing, I have social media to keep up with, I have a small business I’m trying to breathe some life back into, I have friendships to maintain and networking I need to do.

Which, again, I emphasize, I am not complaining about any of it. But I really, really just want to get back into the flow of having a job that has (basically) the same hours every day and having some sort of routine and not get calls asking me if I can be at a place that’s 45 minutes away in an hour (when I am not dressed for an interview, need to shower, do hair and makeup and get relevant paperwork together).

If you’ll pardon me, I’m exhausted and need to go to bed.  Goodnight!

Desperate?!

I’ve now had three agencies tell me that they don’t think they can help me and/or that they will not represent me based on how long I’ve been out of work.  When people ask me “what have you been doing since you got laid off?” and I reply “looking for work”, they are almost always HORRIFIED and say something like “you mean, you haven’t worked AT ALL for all those months?”

I went on an interview today where the interviewer told me he took down the ad after receiving over 300 resumes.  From that group of 300, they chose 30 to interview. I was interview number one.  He had no prepared interview questions and wrote no notes about me. I will be gone from his mind completely by interview number three.  Also, he wants someone bilingual, something the one sentence ad didn’t mention.  So, I drove for almost an hour (1 way) for a 10 minute “interview” where I didn’t have a key skill needed for the job…

I have an appointment at an agency tomorrow where the rep I am meeting with says he is afraid to present me to clients because “after all these months, you’re just going to seem desperate” but he wanted me to come in and fill out paperwork anyways.  It is, quite honestly, very likely a waste of time, but I will go and dutifully fill out more paperwork so I can dutifully report to the Unemployment office that I am leaving no stone unturned in my job search.

But honestly, I am really starting to worry that I am simply not employable. And I’m pretty scared of what that is going to mean.  Unemployment payments won’t last forever. I’m not sure what to do anymore.