I got rejected by the company I interviewed with the other day. You know, Mr. Illegal Interview Question? Yeah… that guy. And I know that I didn’t want the job that badly but that I can’t even get a job with a second-rate, two bit organization that flagrantly casts aside regard for the law stings a little bit. What, were they afraid I’d try to make their business legitimate?
I was likely rejected because of both my voluptuous body and my offbeat name.
Well, I hope the Oglebunny takes DICKtation well and that she doesn’t get carpal tunnel from handling Mr. Wizard’s Magic Wand.
Now, if you will excuse me, I have a vat of sour grapes to stomp into a lovely foot wine.”
[after finding out how his favorite Cabernet is made]
Adrian Monk: I’ve been drinking that wine for fifteen years! It’s Foot Wine! I can taste it…
Natalie Teeger: Oh, come on, you cannot taste it!
Adrian Monk: I feel like I can taste the feet… the toes… and what’s between the toes…
Al Nicoletto: And the fungus. It really is barbaric.
Natalie Teeger: Okay, I didn’t see any fungus! Look, I’m sure they have clean feet, there are probably rules about that stuff…
[She trails off as the grape stompers walk past them, stepping barefoot on the wet, muddy ground]