Company Picnic = Bane of My Existence

Once again it the time of year that employees worldwide dread… Second only to the “Holiday Party’ is the “Company Picnic”.

And worse, my company has decided to inflict this horror on us on a Saturday. We see these people 5 days a week, at least 8 hours a day, why would we choose to spend our weekend with them?

Oooh! Team Building Exercises. That “family” feeling. Bleah! I don’t have kids of my own for a reason, people… Please, please, don’t make me hold your babies. Don’t make me want to critique your parenting skills (I’m kindve an asshat that way)

Even better… they put me, the person who can’t be exposed to sunlight and who projectile vomits when confronted with charcoal grilled food, in charge of planning this catastrophe. And honestly, I hope it absolutely pours rain tomorrow so I don’t have to execute this whole thing. Except it will probably come back to haunt me at some point (in the form of “rain date”)

There are a number of people who aren’t coming… There will be a couple of little babies there. There will be tweens and teens. In other words, it is going to be a nightmare. And my “team” has been as unhelpful as they can possibly be. And a boss who thinks that withholding people’s bonus checks until they come to the festivities is a good idea. Bonus checks that I am not eligible to receive do not motivate me to spend time with people who have made it perfectly clear that I am not “one of them” on what SHOULD be a day off that I am not getting paid for nor am I getting comp time for.

So… hope for rain folks… I know I am.